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Top Five New Slogans of the Wall Street Firm That Hires John Rocker

Baseball bad boy and equal opportunity offender John Rocker stated last week that he's considering a career as a stock broker. Here are the top five slogan possibilities for his potential new employer:

"The Land of Free Checking and the Home of the Ex-Braves."

"We measure success one ignorant redneck at a time."

"We're bullish on racism."

"Hey -- it's not like we're hiring O.J.!"

And the number one new slogan of the Wall Street firm that hires John Rocker...

"No matter where you're from, no matter what your financial goals are -- we hate you."